We adopt an amazing array of emotional defences to protect ourselves from feeling emotional pain. We tend to spend a lot of time in our heads, thinking, fantasising or worrying (negative fantasising). When we do this, we are always in either the future or the past, trying to escape unpleasant feelings in the present.
We distort the facts, magnify the consequences and try to predict and control the outcome. This type of thinking becomes addictive and is the result of early childhood trauma and our attempts at survival in an emotionally hostile and unsupportive environment. But as adults, we are no longer either helpless or powerless, and we can begin the process of recovery by choosing not to react to the melodramas created by our wounded inner children.
Just by observing our reactions instead of being overwhelmed by them is the first step to removing the power that our ego has over us and to healing the wounds that created this coping mechanism.
The minute you begin to observe any aspect of your thinking or reactions, it starts to lose its power over you and just the act of observation whilst refusing to engage in the melodrama, will over time quieten the reaction and give you greater inner peace.
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